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Jokes
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pet jokes and animals jokes anywhere!
For those of you who are without cats, here's a glimpse at the extra joy and process they bring to the task of wrapping presents (you can laugh at it now that Christmas is over).
1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
2. Go to wardrobe and collect bag in which present is contained, and close door.
3. Open door and remove cat from wardrobe.
4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.
6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.
7. Lay out present and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.
8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit, and collect string.
9. Remove present from bag.
10. Remove cat from bag.
11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.
12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.
13. Cut the paper to size, trying to keep the cutting line straight.
14. Throw away first sheet because cat tried to chase the scissors and tore paper.
15. Cut second sheet of paper to size by putting cat in the bag the present came out of.
16. Place present on cut-to-size paper.
17. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present, wonder why edges now don't reach, and find cat between present and paper. Remove cat and retry.
18. Place object on paper, to hold in place, while cutting transparent sticky tape.
19. Spend next 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.
20. Seal paper down with transparent sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.
21. Look for roll of ribbon; chase cat down hall and retrieve ribbon.
22. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.
23. Re-roll up ribbon and remove paper that is now torn, due to cat's enthusiasm in chasing ribbon end.
24. Repeat steps 12-22 until down to last sheet of paper.
25. Decide to skip steps 12-16 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that you know is right size for sheet of paper.
26. Put present in box, and tie down with string.
27. Remove string, open box and remove cat.
28. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for lockable room.
29. Once inside room, lock door and start to re-lay out packing materials.
30. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close door and re-lock.
31. Lay out last sheet of paper. (Admittedly this is difficult in the small area of the bathroom, but try your best!)
32. Seal box, wrap with paper and start repairs by very carefully sealing down tears with transparent sticky tape. Now tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst affected areas.
33. Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself on making good of a bad job.
34. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.
35. Spend next 15 minutes looking for cat, before coming to obvious conclusion.
36. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.
37. Retrieve all discarded sheets of wrapping paper, feed cat and retire to lockable room for last attempt, making certain you are alone and the door is locked.
38. At time of handing over present, smile sweetly at receiver's face, as they try and hide their contempt at being handed such a badly wrapped present.
39. Promise yourself that next year, you will get the store to wrap the present for you.
I hope your wrapping went better!
Visit the Abyss Comedy Club for more!
For those of you who are without cats, here's a glimpse at the extra joy and process they bring to the task of wrapping presents (you can laugh at it now that Christmas is over).
1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
2. Go to wardrobe and collect bag in which present is contained, and close door.
3. Open door and remove cat from wardrobe.
4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.
6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.
7. Lay out present and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.
8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit, and collect string.
9. Remove present from bag.
10. Remove cat from bag.
11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.
12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.
13. Cut the paper to size, trying to keep the cutting line straight.
14. Throw away first sheet because cat tried to chase the scissors and tore paper.
15. Cut second sheet of paper to size by putting cat in the bag the present came out of.
16. Place present on cut-to-size paper.
17. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present, wonder why edges now don't reach, and find cat between present and paper. Remove cat and retry.
18. Place object on paper, to hold in place, while cutting transparent sticky tape.
19. Spend next 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.
20. Seal paper down with transparent sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.
21. Look for roll of ribbon; chase cat down hall and retrieve ribbon.
22. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.
23. Re-roll up ribbon and remove paper that is now torn, due to cat's enthusiasm in chasing ribbon end.
24. Repeat steps 12-22 until down to last sheet of paper.
25. Decide to skip steps 12-16 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that you know is right size for sheet of paper.
26. Put present in box, and tie down with string.
27. Remove string, open box and remove cat.
28. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for lockable room.
29. Once inside room, lock door and start to re-lay out packing materials.
30. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close door and re-lock.
31. Lay out last sheet of paper. (Admittedly this is difficult in the small area of the bathroom, but try your best!)
32. Seal box, wrap with paper and start repairs by very carefully sealing down tears with transparent sticky tape. Now tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst affected areas.
33. Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself on making good of a bad job.
34. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.
35. Spend next 15 minutes looking for cat, before coming to obvious conclusion.
36. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.
37. Retrieve all discarded sheets of wrapping paper, feed cat and retire to lockable room for last attempt, making certain you are alone and the door is locked.
38. At time of handing over present, smile sweetly at receiver's face, as they try and hide their contempt at being handed such a badly wrapped present.
39. Promise yourself that next year, you will get the store to wrap the present for you.
I hope your wrapping went better!
Visit the Abyss Comedy Club for more!
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News
Chubbs Tac Toe 
A bug was found with Chubbs Tac Toe when the winning row ran from the top right corner to the bottom left corner.
To make up for the bug which a few people experienced, we are keeping Chubbs Tac Toe cards available INSIDE Padam's shack for an extra day before moving it to the cards pile.
Themes
A new forum theme was just activated for everyone! Make Tad a part of your posts.
Activate your forum theme under Settings - Account settings.
Help Hart90
As most of you may know, over the past few years we have frequently sponsored animals with Hart90. Hart90 is one of the few shelters who are always friendly, respond in a timely manner and never hesitate to work with us. They also deal with a fairly large amount of domestic animals every year.
Now you can help out Hart90 also. Until January 30th, they are participating in America's best shelter. The winning shelter in this competition will be awarded $10,000.
All it takes is a few clicks to enter in your vote.
Please note, only people in North America (US & Canada) who are 18 years of age or over can enter their vote here.
Vote Now
Thanks and good luck to Hart90!
Stew!
A couple of stews have arrived. Hop over to Simply Delicous and go nuts.
Teach Me
Read More ... ]
A bug was found with Chubbs Tac Toe when the winning row ran from the top right corner to the bottom left corner.To make up for the bug which a few people experienced, we are keeping Chubbs Tac Toe cards available INSIDE Padam's shack for an extra day before moving it to the cards pile.
Themes
A new forum theme was just activated for everyone! Make Tad a part of your posts.Activate your forum theme under Settings - Account settings.
Help Hart90
As most of you may know, over the past few years we have frequently sponsored animals with Hart90. Hart90 is one of the few shelters who are always friendly, respond in a timely manner and never hesitate to work with us. They also deal with a fairly large amount of domestic animals every year.Now you can help out Hart90 also. Until January 30th, they are participating in America's best shelter. The winning shelter in this competition will be awarded $10,000.
All it takes is a few clicks to enter in your vote.
Please note, only people in North America (US & Canada) who are 18 years of age or over can enter their vote here.
Vote Now
Thanks and good luck to Hart90!
Stew!
A couple of stews have arrived. Hop over to Simply Delicous and go nuts.Teach Me
Read More ... ]